365 Days in Iceland in Review
I have already spent 365 days living Iceland. That includes the time I spent last year before leaving, then the time upon my return in November through today. A lot has changed in that time.
It began with me being unhappy doing my PhD in Utah. I moved back to Michigan in 2022 with no real idea of what to do with my life after losing hope in my lifelong dream of becoming a professor. That November, I got back into reading books for the first time since high school. The summer prior, I had dreamt of going to Iceland for the summer, just for the sake of it and doing photography. I ultimately decided not to go, but by January of the next year, 2023, I made up my mind: I would simply move to Iceland. I bought a one-way ticket for March. Around that time, I also discovered the Bukowski poem which made me start attempting to write poetry.
During this whole period of my life, I isolated myself. If I had to identify a reason, it would mostly be that I didn’t know what was even possible. I had no desire to know other people. I had no real desire to go anywhere or do anything. I wanted to do photography, be alone, and that was all. Hence my choice to move to Siglufjörður. When I got to Iceland, I stayed first in Reykjavík, then in Akureyri for two weeks each. I really didn’t do anything. However, my host in Akureyri went on Easter vacation without giving me the wifi password. Thus, I spent my days writing poetry, eventually inspiring me to start trying to write stories.
I arrived to Siglufjörður in the north of Iceland in April. It was empty. Only kids running around the streets, otherwise, there was nobody. And also no food. I spent that month questioning everything. It turned out that being entirely alone wasn’t what I thought it would be. That was when the weight of my lifetime of isolation hit me: I was wrong. I abandoned all my plans and moved to Hveragerði in the south. There, I had a life-changing experience where I saw someone transform into a completely different person in the presence of a friend — and not in mine. That left me wondering what I was doing wrong. I went down a dark spiral after that, wondering what I could possibly ever do to correct a lifetime of regrets and mistakes. While again alone for two weeks, the most difficult time thus far.
Finally, I moved to Kópavogur where I was then invited to spend a weekend at an art gallery in Hellissandur. It was at that gallery that my life finally changed direction. I met someone who inspired me to write. And I wrote. A lot. I never intended to do anything with that writing other than to express all these feelings I experienced during this difficult time, but I was ultimately motivated to share those stories. They became You, Man, Emotion. I had hope for the first time in a long time, things were slowly picking up. Then, as I went to extend my stay in Iceland, I saw that I lost my accommodations one day prior. I waited one day because I was meant to go to Italy for a while, but those plans were cancelled. I waited one day to be sure those cancellations were final, and then my place was taken. I bought a one-way ticket back to the US.
There, everything was as bad as before, if not worse. I went to visit some friends in LA. I saw how much I had changed, how dissimilar I had become from my pop-culture and video-game-loving friends. I returned to Michigan where I met someone new who showed me a very important aspect of humanity: vulnerability. Then, I went to Istanbul in November to give my speech — the culmination of my experiences. After that, I returned to Iceland on my second one-way ticket. Without a job. Without a home. Without people.
I arrived at my six-week accommodation and immediately wondered what I was trying to accomplish with my life. I was completely alone in a space the size of my closet back in Michigan. With no plan — nothing whatsoever. I discovered a local library with Icelandic lessons. I started going every Saturday. I met another American there and we became friends. I kept going every week, and still do to this day. I moved to downtown Reykjavík for my final reserved accommodation. I met someone else at the library who asked his landlord if I could move into one of the spare rooms. She allowed me to, and I’ve been living here ever since: the best location in the city for a “fair” (Icelandic) price.
I applied for over 30 jobs, including sending emails asking to wash dishes, and got rejected from all of them. All except one which hired me within two weeks. In the blink of an eye, my life went from existential dread to wonder. Somehow, with my complete lack of social skills, I was hired for a customer-facing tourism job. I was trained by amazing, outgoing people who I told about my situation regarding being a quiet person. And with their guidance, I made progress. Similarly, my continuation of the library led me to meet some amazing people who included me in their social circles and other adventures.
It wasn’t all up from there. The individual responsible for me becoming a writer decided to remove themself from my life. They made a mistake. They apologized for it. I said I would be understanding, but they hurt me and should reflect on what happened. In response, this person said it was unfair for me to be blame them for me being hurt and that everything that happened was my fault… then cut contact. Immediately. I was quite down for a week or two after that, but I found an odd motivation in the “release” of the past. I immediately met someone else who I find quite inspirational. And I also met the man who I now meet with almost weekly to teach me Icelandic and to talk about everything else from literature to life.
Shortly after, I overheard two of my coworkers talking about writing. So I asked if they wanted to start a writing group. So we did. We’re now a consistent group meeting once or twice a week to write, talk about writing, and discuss literature, creativity, and art. I also began offering to teach Icelandic which has led to fun experiences of their own, everything from simply enjoyable meetups to a series of events which resulted in me now having access to a bike for a week and learning how to ride. And of course, I must also mention the recent release of Between My Lines.
In short, I took a downhill trajectory and turned it completely around. The beauty of it all is seeing the purpose behind everything that happened. I would never have taken the initiative I do now to build a life and community here if not for all my experiences of lack of community. I’ve brought many people together these past few weeks. I don’t say that to boast, but rather because I am proud of that — and proud that I went from never leaving my apartment to never being in my apartment.
I must cheat and include a few days past 365 in this post because I have began yet more adventures as of these past few days. Regardless, the point is that I now have a direction. I have a job, I have a home, I have a community, and I have direction. I left Utah — and my old life — behind on April 29th, 2022. I arrived in Iceland on March 20th, 2023. I left on June 30th. Then I returned on November 16th. I found a place to live on January 28th, 2024. I got my job on March 27th. Today is July 2nd, 2024. I didn’t give up. Now here I am. I’ll say it for the thousandth time: all anyone ever needs to do is try.