To Wish Upon a Ship

18.11.24

*Scene: Hugo is sitting on a long couch facing a large window with an unobstructed view of the stars. There is a doorway to the right of the scene from which Jack enters after some time and watches/listens to Hugo from the entrance. Hugo starts speaking upon hearing Jack’s arrival.*

Hugo: [Looking longingly out the window] So many stars. Each one so insignificant.

Jack: [Arms folded, leaning on the doorframe] Each one as insignificant as us? Aren’t we exactly the same all the way out here?

Hugo: The same as the stars? [Turns to look over to Jack and shakes head] The difference is that we are here and they are there. [Smiles sadly] Our significance is being ourselves... so insignificantly small.

Jack: I meant that to anyone else, anywhere else, we’re nothing. Like those stars: because we aren’t there. Nobody could care less about our situation, but obviously we care given that it’s our situation.

Hugo: [Turns back to the window. Speaking in a melancholy tone] Yeah, but we don’t care about them just the same. What’s more important to a planet than its star? They aren’t our stars, that’s the point. Whereas here we are… here.

Jack: [Walks over and sits beside Hugo. Joins in looking out the window] My question at this point is how to make sense of this. We drift in some vast emptiness, surrounded by an unfathomable number of worlds -- each one impossibly out of reach. And we drift alone: lost and forgotten. Is there any meaning to be found here? Nobody could care less about us because we’ll never leave any mark on any world. We’re nothing more than a far-off light that’s grown too dim to ever be seen.

Hugo: [Grimaces, says sardonically] We can vent the airlock.

Jack: [Scoffs and looks at Hugo with a bemused resignation] No. Isn’t there something we can do out here?

Hugo: Yeah. We can vent the airlock.

Jack: [Frustrated] For the love of god, no. We don’t know what’s in store for us just yet. All I’m saying is that if we’re going to be stuck in the outer reaches of space for the rest of our lives, shouldn’t we try and make the most of it? If it were just the two of us, then by all means, I would happily go and vent the airlock. But at least we have people. Isn’t that all that matters?

Hugo: Well, are we insignificant or not? I feel like you’re talking in circles.

Jack: [Sighing] I’m just confused. We are insignificant, but we are also alive and human. We should---

Hugo: [Interrupting] For now.

Jack: What?

Hugo: We are human for now. You said it yourself: we’re growing dim -- and soon to burn out. Then what do we become?-- if not dead?

Jack: [Turning towards Hugo, exasperated] I meant dim from the perspective of the rest of the world. As I was just about to say, I’m confused about what to do now. I want to have hope that we can find meaning and purpose, but I don’t have hope for… [hesitates] hope. 

Hugo: [Shakes head, still looking out the window] I think you’d be best taking your philosophizing elsewhere. I think counting the stars is the most purpose I’ll have any time soon.

Jack: [Sits for a moment, staring at Hugo, then stands up with a wry expression and says despairingly] Then I’ll leave you to it.

*Jack walks to the door, passing between Hugo and the window on the way. He returns to his quarters, passing by Katja in the hallway.*

 Katja: [Stops upon noticing Jack’s expression and quick pace. Says with concern] Jack? Is everything alright?

Jack: [Unchanging] No.

*Katja, still stopped in the hall, watches Jack continue on to his quarters. Katja, concerned, eventually continues down the hall. She goes to turn left upon reaching the doorway leading to Hugo, but glances in the room as she approaches to see Hugo sitting on the couch. Katja enters.*

Katja: Hugo? Do you know what’s going on with Jack? He seems disturbed.

Hugo: [Turning to look at Katja] The same as the rest of us, I guess. He’s just upset that I’m not in the mood to help make sense of our situation.

Katja: Oh. What did he want to talk about?

Hugo: [Turning back to the window] He told me not to vent the airlock.

Katja: [Hiding being taken aback] Oh.

Hugo: Yeah, he said he’d rather try to find meaning or purpose or whatever since we’re still alive.

Katja: [Dragging out the word “and”] And… you would rather vent the airlock?

Hugo: I would rather count the stars: something to keep me entertained until I die from causes unrelated to airlocks if that won’t be allowed.

Katja: [Laughs] I see what’s going on. But don’t you guys know about the computers and everything? It’s not like we’re entirely lost yet.

Hugo: [Says dismally] Two years, and increasing, between communications doesn’t exactly raise morale. We’ve all accepted the simple fact that we’re stuck out here; that we’ll never see different faces. We’ve also accepted that any communications at all would be a miracle. [Turns to look directly at Katja. Says very seriously] Two years is a long time.

Katja: Well… At least we have each other.

Hugo: I’ll tell you the same thing I told Jack: for now. We have each other for now.

Katja: [Frustrated] What’s gotten into you? There’s no need to be so negative about everything. 

Hugo: [Bitterly] You can blame Jack for that, for pointing out that we’ll need to spend the rest of our lives out here trying to find some reason to live. I wasn’t even happy before joining this mission. That’s why I joined. So now what?

Katja: [Disappointedly] Now, we don’t give up. We don’t even know what will happen. What if the message we receive, even after taking two whole years, says they’re coming to save us? Maybe it will take ten years. Maybe twenty years. We’ll figure something out. No matter what.

Hugo: [Bitterness softens to reveal their sadness/hopelessness. Looks again at Katja, this time dejectedly] I came here for the sake of my family. Tell me what purpose I’ll find again out here.

*Katja purses her lips as Hugo looks back to the window. She is hit by the weight of their situation for the first time. After watching Hugo for a while in silence, she turns and walks back towards the crew quarters.*

*Hugo continues sitting for some time. Jack takes a meal in his quarters, alone. Katja takes her meal in the mess area, also alone. Each one wears the same, melancholy expression, deep in contemplation.*

*Resumes the following day: various people in the mess area at breakfast time. Hugo is sitting alone, Katja takes her tray of food and sits by him.*

Katja: Good morning. How are you holding up?

Hugo: [Gives Katja a knowing, annoyed look, ignoring the question] What’s the plan for today?

Katja: [Sadly conceding her question] We’re doing inventories and a cooling systems check. [In a normal tone] You’re going to hatch four with Pat at first bell.

Hugo: Sounds good to me. Hopefully no more issues.

*Hugo gets up, obviously not finished with his meal, and leaves Katja alone. She continues eating alone with the gentle chatter of the others in the hall. After some time, she looks around as though she has realized something. She then takes her also unfinished meal to the disposal area, drops it off, and heads to the crew quarters. She arrives at Jack’s room.*

Katja: [Knocking] Hello? [Knocks again after a few seconds] Jack?

*A bump is heard inside, the door soon opens.*

Jack: [Appearing tired] Hey, is everything alright?

Katja: Are you not eating this morning?

Jack: [Keeping the door mostly closed] No.

Katja: [Gently] I’m asking if you are alright.

Jack: [Sighs and fully opens the door] No, not really.

Katja: Can I come in?

*Jack steps aside, allowing Katja to enter. She closes the door behind herself and takes a seat at his table. Jack remains standing by the closed door.*

Katja: Well, come sit. Hugo told me about your conversation yesterday, but I can’t say I thought too much of it.

Jack: [Walks over and sits across from Katja] What all did he say?

Katja: Apart from how much he seems to want to vent the airlock, just that you’re looking for some kind of meaning or purpose. [Softly] I also hadn’t realized what this was like for Hugo, with his family left behind. I’m so used to being on my own, I guess the difficulties everyone else is facing never really crossed my mind.

Jack: [Frowning] Yeah, that’s a rough one. I shouldn’t have thrown my own worries around with that in mind. Everyone has enough on their plate as it is. [Pauses, then looks directly at Katja] But the question needs to be addressed eventually: we are stuck in the outermost reaches of space. How do we make [makes air quotations with fingers] life out here?

Katja: [Thinks for a moment] Maybe we can get everyone together, hold some kind of ceremony where we all share the things we’ve lost, open up about our concerns, and just stop dancing around this topic?

Jack: [Smiles] I like that idea, but it gives a sense of doom -- saying the word “ceremony” in a place like this. Like we’ll end up with some yearly ritual and we’ll all devolve into zealots out of desperation.

Katja: It shouldn’t be religious or anything. Just to bring everyone together in solidarity.

Jack: [Laughing] I know, but imagine where this will take us in twenty years. The saddest part is I think rituals and ceremonies might actually work in keeping us together and mostly sane all this time.

Katja: It’s hard to say. Anything could happen. And obviously, other people could come up with other ideas. Do you really think they’ll be so desperate for meaning and purpose?

Jack: [Sadly] In twenty years, yes. It’s a lot of time to figure things out at least. The issue is we will have people wanting to vent the airlock. We will have problems.

Katja: [Disconcertedly] I served in the Kepler Wars. I watched planets outright ripped in half. I helped refugees on the moons while the skies turned red with spilled planet-core. People are resilient. They find a way to move on -- most of them. We don’t have a choice. [Growing teary-eyed] I didn’t have a choice. After all the things I saw, I still had to move on with my life.

Jack: That’s why you’re leading us. Not everyone knows how to move on, assuming we’re actually capable of it in the first place. There’s so much unknown right now. That’s the only thing keeping this ship together. After that first message comes -- and let’s face it, it won’t be good -- this whole place is going to hell.

The people need meaning. We need purpose. Like Hugo and his family, why would he even want to make anything work out here when his actual life is gone forever? I would almost dare to suggest that if the message we receive from earth isn’t something good, we should just hide it, act like we didn’t receive anything at all. Or at least wait until we find stability of some kind, so breaking everyone’s hearts won’t also break their souls.

You should sit down with everyone and have a conversation exactly like this one. Find out who they are, what they want, what they need. Understand them as individuals. I bet a few won’t even mind that things ended up this way. Others won’t know how to go on. Identify them, bring them together, we’ll need groups of similar people, perhaps that alone will give them a sense of purpose.

[Slowing down] I have no idea what I’m talking about, I only came here to pay off my apartment on Station 49B. Now I don’t have an apartment, and I’ll never see that station ever again. [Shaking head, tears are flowing gently] I’m just desperately grasping for any kind of meaning I can, because I don’t know what else to do.

Katja: [Sits in silence for some time, biting lip] I don’t know what I’m doing either.

Jack: None of us do.

Katja: [Sighs heavily] Then I guess I have two years to start getting to know everyone.

*Jack remains silent with pursed lips.*

Katja: I’ll try my best. To find something.

*Jack shakes his head in disapproval, still saying nothing. Katja stands up and opens the door, looking back at Jack who merely watches her. She exits and closes the door.*