Humans, Humanity, and Suffering
This past year, I have been shown a prevalent aspect of this world that I never fully grasped the severity of. Since having gained perspective from the events of my time in Iceland, I now see everywhere what I’ve always only wondered about: suffering. Suffering doesn’t mean endless sadness or despair, though that is certainly included. I’m specifically referring to general unhappiness or hopelessness.
I hear quite a lot from people I know both personally and otherwise about what it means to live and work in today’s world. Some people really do enjoy their work. And they don’t make enough money to live a life. Other people do make enough money. And they don’t enjoy their work and are therefore unhappy. They’re all unhappy, for the most part. I speak mostly of the US as this is where many people I know live, but I also saw this to an extent in Iceland. The common factor is that these are all young people, in their twenties like me.
I witnessed this struggle firsthand. I applied for jobs that I am qualified for. But, I am young. Therefore, these companies would prefer to hire someone with more experience – so I was told by the lovely “we’ve filled this position” letters. Of course there are other opportunities, but my point is this: should I not be allowed to do what I want and enjoy? I’m not asking for a dream job – only the choice of job.
It’s easy to say that life isn’t fair, or that we live in a world and must therefore abide by it. Even if this were true, what are we to do if that world is broken? The statistics, for example, speak for themselves. Everyone is depressed. Mental health is plummeting. Assault is rising. As is drug use and crime in general. Anyone who follows the news would understand that we are reaching a breaking point. It’s been this way for a while, and each year is worse.
I lost a friend to suicide for these reasons. I knew someone whose dad was killed by a drunk driver right before our high school graduation. I know a few people who are victims of sexual assault. I know others who have turned to self-harm, even attempted suicide. I mention these specifically because you would never know what they were going through by simply looking at these people. One day, I went for a run with my friend, listening to all his hopes and dreams for the future. Then he took his own life. I certainly didn’t know.
One idea that I’ve been grappling with is that of time. I’ve been reading literature from the 1700s, 1800s, and into the 1900s. To do anything at all used to take time. And it involved other people. Things were slow and inefficient. And that is what made the world human. This isn’t to say that technology or “modern life” is to blame for the state of the world, rather society has devolved into “maximum efficiency.” As alluded, humans aren’t very efficient. So they aren’t made a priority… by other humans.
In my perfect world, art, writing, literature, and all the humanities would be at the root of our society. Maybe one day AI will actually take over all of our current jobs. Greed and profiteering aside, that would actually have the potential to make the world a much better place. Unfortunately, we won’t see that in our lifetimes if it ever does happen.
So what can we do? As is the overarching theme of my book, all we can do is turn to each other. A fulfilling life involves filling all the time the world affords us. When that time goes unfilled, that is what causes suffering. Recently, I wrote a piece titled Nothing on this idea:
Comes nothing today. My greatest enemy. Whose presence is warned by the unfoldings of tomorrow. That should the pieces fit in harmony, then comes nothing today.
Nothing sits in silence. Nothing speaks no words. Its presence is its meaning. Its absence, its intention. When no one goes, nothing comes. When nothing's done, nothing does. It does all that was not.
It need not speak, only come. It need not be seen, only felt. It need not need. Only desire.
Nothing knows the future. Nothing predicts with perfect score. That tomorrow offers invitation to spend the day today. Always one step in the front. With perfect knowledge of the past.
Only when tomorrow is scattered to the wind does nothing at long last take a step away. But even in its absence, its mark is borne. I see nothing. I hear nothing. I feel nothing. I know nothing. And nothing watches me with a smile. Nothing's heart is filled with love. Nothing finds joy in my presence.
Come tomorrow comes nothing. For should the day be scattered, the night is certain. Nothing goes only where something is not. It longs to fill the void.
Double-meanings aside, the idea of this piece is that if we can predict the events of tomorrow, then today will not be enjoyable and our thoughts will creep in. We must let life be “scattered to the wind” – be exciting, eventful, unpredictable – lest we be overcome with “the void.”
Make use of the day. Plan for tomorrow. Make use of tomorrow. Plan for the next day. Repeat. That is how life is meant to be lived – with or without money, with or without a “fun” job. The only guarantee in this world is time (save for the worst). We choose how we spend it, so we must spend it well. What other choice do we have?
In any case, it has been a long three months back in the US. I’ve traveled, written, met new and interesting people, and finally arranged my return to Iceland. I’ve been doing my best to make the most of my time. From learning Icelandic to making new friends and spending time with old ones. I can’t say that I’m on my way to building the perfect world that I see in my mind. But I can say that I’m working towards building a life of my own construction. It will take a very long while, but I suppose I have the time.
Not every day must be eventful, but there must be hope for the future.